When “I Don’t Have Time” Isn’t The Real Problem
Why it's rarely about time..
A client said to me recently, "I just don't have time to look after myself." I hear this almost every week. For years, I believed it too - until I started paying attention to where my own time was actually going.
Here's the question I ask now: Do you not have time - or is someone or something taking it?
We all have the same 24 hours, but we don't all have the same demands. Some people are raising children, caring for family members, building a career, managing health challenges, or trying to balance all of the above. I'm not pretending those pressures don't exist. Even within busy lives, though, it's worth asking whether all of our time is being chosen intentionally - or whether some of it is simply disappearing.
Let's clear up a myth.
Myth: There's no time left for me. The truth is, most of us have simply never stopped to notice where our time actually goes. It often slips away in small, unnoticed ways - the phone, the favour for someone else, always being the first to put your hand up for another task. It's not about saying no to everything; it's about pausing long enough to ask: Where is my time actually going? And more importantly - where am I giving myself the time to mind me?
Ask yourself honestly…
Where does your time actually go on an average day? How much is choice, and how much is habit, or someone else's ask? I'm not asking you to feel guilty - just to notice. Awareness is where change starts.
Here's the truth I keep coming back to: if you don't prioritise time for you, someone or something else will.
To help you get started - try this time challenge
Find the Time That's Already There
You don't need to find a spare hour hiding somewhere in your day. You need to notice the small windows already there, and decide on purpose - that they belong to you. Try this for the next seven days.
Track one day, honestly. Pick a typical day and jot down where your time goes, hour by hour - work, family, phone, telly, everything. No editing, no judgement. Just notice.
Circle three 10-minute windows. Look back over your day and circle three small stretches of time that weren't really doing anything for you - scrolling, waiting, half-watching something. That's 30 minutes, hiding in plain sight. These little pockets of time often feel too small to matter - but they can make a huge difference.
Claim one of them, on purpose. Pick just one of those windows tomorrow and protect it. Go for a walk. Sit with a cup of tea. Prep tomorrow's lunch. Write your thoughts down. Stretch. Read a few pages of a book. Choose whatever you need most. Treat it like an appointment you can't cancel.
Say it out loud (or write it down). Before the day starts, tell yourself - or someone else - "This ten minutes is mine." Naming it makes it harder to give away without noticing.
Remember: this isn't about finding an extra hour. It's about deciding, on purpose, that some of the time you already have is yours.
It's not selfish to want time for yourself. It's necessary. And noticing is where it begins.
How I can help
If you're ready to stop feeling guilty about wanting time for yourself and start building small, sustainable habits instead, I'd love to help. Book a free discovery call, and together we'll look at where your time is going and how you can start creating more space for yourself - without adding more to your plate.
Because making time for yourself isn't selfish. It's one of the healthiest decisions you can make.