Finding Your Way Back Without the Guilt
Life doesn't always go to plan. Sometimes unexpected things happen, with family, work, health and our usual routines take a back seat.
I've been a little quieter lately following the recent loss of my mother-in-law. It's been a difficult time for our family, and we are still finding our way through it.
I've kept up with my walks and some workouts, but a few of my other habits have slipped. I've been less mindful of what I'm eating, skipping meals, grabbing whatever is easiest and enjoying a few more drinks than usual. My sleep hasn't been great either, and I've been feeling a little sluggish and not quite myself.
In the past, I might have responded by putting pressure on myself to get everything back on track, feeling guilty and trying to make up for lost time.
This time, I'm trying a different approach. I'm giving myself some breathing room, making time for things I enjoy and recognising that I don't need to have everything perfectly organised all the time.
And it's a reminder that when life gets in the way, we don't need to throw everything out and start again. Sometimes we just need to make a few adjustments.
The pressure to get everything right
I've also been enjoying a bit of reading. I recently downloaded Our Secrets and Lies by Sinead Moriarty onto my Kindle. It's an easy, enjoyable read, but it also got me thinking about the expectations we put on ourselves and the stories we tell ourselves.
How often do we feel we need to get everything right, keep everyone happy and avoid rocking the boat?
We put pressure on ourselves to be the perfect person, parent, partner, employee or friend. And when it comes to our health, diet culture adds another layer of pressure, telling us we need to look better, eat less and be more disciplined.
But at what cost?
We can spend so much time trying to meet expectations that we forget to look after ourselves. Healthy living shouldn't become another area of life where we feel we're constantly falling short.
It's worth remembering that being healthy doesn't mean being perfect. It's about the choices we make most of the time, not getting everything right every day.
How to get back into healthy habits
When life gets busy or difficult, it's often the basics that slip first. We skip meals, rely on convenience food, move less, stay up too late or find ourselves reaching for a glass of wine more often.
Rather than responding with a strict new plan, try looking at the habits that would make the biggest difference to how you feel.
Here are five simple places to start:
1. Get back into regular meals
Skipping meals can leave you tired, hungry and more likely to pick at food throughout the day and especially the evening. Try to establish a regular meal pattern that works with your routine. It doesn't have to be complicated.
2. Make your meals more satisfying
Include a source of protein and fibre-rich foods where you can. For example, eggs or Greek yoghurt at breakfast, chicken or beans at lunch, and vegetables, wholegrains or pulses with your evening meal. These can help keep you fuller for longer and support your overall nutrition.
3. Find ways to move that you enjoy
You don't need to jump into an intense exercise routine. A walk, a short workout, dancing in the kitchen or getting outside for some fresh air all count. Start with what feels manageable and build from there.
4. Give sleep and rest some attention
If you've been running on empty, adding more exercise or trying to be stricter with food may not be what you need. An earlier bedtime, a little less screen time or making space to switch off can help you feel more rested.
5. Make time for the things that help you feel good
Meeting a friend, reading a book, getting outside or simply sitting down with a cup of tea can all be part of looking after yourself. Your wellbeing isn't just about food and exercise.
You don't need to tackle all five at once. Choose one or two that feel realistic and focus on making them part of your routine again.
Less than eight weeks to Christmas - a different approach
As Christmas approaches, it's easy to fall into the familiar trap of wanting to lose weight or get ourselves into shape before the festivities begin.
Parties, photographs and outfits can suddenly become another reason to restrict food, start another diet or set unrealistic expectations.
But what if these next few weeks weren't about squeezing into a particular dress size?
Instead, think about how you would like to feel heading into Christmas. Perhaps you want more energy, better sleep, a little more structure around meals or to feel stronger and fitter.
You could use the time between now and Christmas to:
Plan a few meals each week so you're not constantly wondering what to eat.
Keep some easy, nutritious options in the fridge or freezer for busy days.
Build regular walks or enjoyable movement into your week.
Make sleep and downtime a priority where possible.
Enjoy festive food and social occasions without feeling you need to compensate afterwards.
You don't need to earn your Christmas dinner, and you don't need to spend January feeling guilty about December.
The aim isn't to be perfect before Christmas. It's to build habits that help you feel good and that you can continue beyond the festive season.
Remember why your health matters
With my own parents getting older, the recent loss of my mother-in-law, my own experience of cancer, and even as I write this, hearing the heartbreaking news of Ciara McGeehan's death at just 34, I'm reminded how precious life is and how easily we can take our health and everyday abilities for granted.
I want to be able to walk, dance, meet friends, spend time with family, lift my grandchild and enjoy life independently for as long as possible.
These are the things that really matter to me, and they're a big part of why I'm so passionate about helping people build healthy habits that help them feel good, enjoy life and, most importantly, are realistic and sustainable in the long term.
It's not just about weight loss or looking a certain way. It's about looking after our bodies, maintaining strength, having energy and giving ourselves the best chance of continuing to do the things we love.
Our health should support the life we want to live, not become another pressure or something we judge ourselves by.
Finding your way forward
My own focus right now is getting back to some of the basics: planning meals, doing a proper food shop, including protein and fibre in my meals, eating regularly, keeping up my walks and workouts and making a little more room for rest.
I'm not trying to make up for the last couple of weeks. I'm simply recognising what I need and making a few changes to support myself again.
If your routine has slipped too, try not to look at everything you think you should be doing. Instead, ask yourself:
What's one thing I could do to improve how I feel?
What has been missing from my routine lately?
What's realistic for me right now?
You don't have to wait for Monday, the first of the month or the New Year. Start with one manageable change and give yourself time to build on it.
Healthy living isn't about never falling out of your routine. It's about having the flexibility to adapt when life changes and finding your way back without guilt or criticism.
And please, enjoy your life along the way. Spend time with your people, have the laugh, make the memories and rest when you need to.
Because looking after your health should help you live your life, not stop you from enjoying it.
Need a little support?
If you're tired of the all-or-nothing approach and would like help building healthy habits that fit into your real life, I'd love to help. You can book a FREE 20-minute call and we can chat about where you are now and what you'd like to work towards.
Because healthy living should fit around your life, not take it over.